and shes like half my size?
how dumb is that. im not sure if shes really meaning that or just saying for fun, but the main point is, society places so much emphasis on looks that its quite overboard sometimes.
by saying that i dont mean you go out looking like a rag, but im referring more to body shape.
especailly for girls who do destructive stuff just to slim down, which i think is quite stupid because our body made by God is perfect. let me repeat, PERFECT. if you wish to resculpt yourself, exercise. you CANNOT slim down by eating tablets whilst sitting in front of the tv and munching on macdonalds at the same time -.-

on to other stuff, i just had a little chat woth my dear _____. and she kinda reminded me to mind my actions. i know sometimes i do go overboard and over friendly, but it aint intentional. im just nuts. however there is a difference in the way i act around certain people. i do not like giving false impressions. what you see is what you get, sometimes maybe more, but hardly. i guess its up to others to interpret my actions, but untimately, i know what im doing and your interpretations might be off. so maybe you shouldnt think so much and just take things as they come. because everything is all planned out and perfect and it'll all happen in God's timing. and i trust that everything He's scheduled in my life is meant for something and i choose to let Him take over cause He's got the best view.

i got a shitload of work so OKAYLAHBYE.


''do you know how to touch a girl.

a quote says that 'if you find things complicated, it means you havent understood them. simplicity is the basis of everything.'

entirely true. batting is really that simple. once you get it, it sticks with you and you cant pry it away even if you want to. i guess the same goes for learning stuff. once you get it, you remember it some where in that messy brain for the rest of your life. therefore i decree my task for this year is to MAKE EVERYTHING SIMPLE. abit late to come up with these sorta resolutions but better late than never. i just dont think i'll be able to cope with complicating stuff, whether studies, softball or relationships. im just glad church is never complicating, this it rocks my socks. SIMPLE is key. learn that everybody.

i think im quite redundant in pre u sem cause i cant research for nuts. haha shucks sorry all. but i will try my darnest. its that feeling again when i have no idea what im doing there. its all so cheem for me. like everyone else is sho smart. and there is me. not sho smart. haha seriously, during discussions i struggle to understand where the whole thing is going, but i do get what our whole thing is about after now. i believe the thing to describe me here is: SLOW.

training today started off weird cause like once we came to tk coach was already yelling at the bdiv. like, we felt so neglected. haha but we dont mind sacrifising cause they're playing mgs tomorrow and i guess coach is stressed causes 1. they lost to mgs in the first round, 2. mgs is coached by elaine, 3.elaine is coached by coach! omg wouldnt it be weird when elaine goes for gym tomorrow? rah shitness. and juniors were so stressed too. they like hit diane and belle consecutively during fielding. first joyce, then zaza. belle looked okayy but i was more worried for diane since she got hit on the RIGHT HAND=PITCHING HAND. and at that point she said she couldnt feel her hand. but later on when she started pitching, everything looked normal again. yay! many minutes later jiaolian took over vj while coach pep talked the bdivs, and from then on we decided we felt LOVED once again :)) jiayou bdiv. fight with no regrets!

my shoulder still hurts. yaopeng says to rest it instead but i think thats quite impossible now. i know why it hurts. aint the first time 1.hand at angle > 90degrees, 2. side throw, 3. pushing, not snapping. well i shall ice it after i bathe. yes smelly gay hasnt bathed. HEHHEH. i have no mood for work, but i MUSTDOPW. zz.


''caught the last weekend of the last week.

oh WOW.
im actually home early and doing work .
YAY for gay!
headache rocked my world the whole day today.
i cant think straight for nuts luh.
i need candy to sugar up my mind.
okay AIR-arts in reality day tomorrow.
SIAN. [haha sorry dan] ohwell.
its out, we're playing hwachong first game.
i will not hold back.


''heyhey youyou i dont like you girlfriend.

whoohoo.
wheehoo.
i survived the first school week.
which was coupled with the extra gym that coach jenny refused to let me skip.
so my body officially hates me for making it work so darn hard.

i just heard about my junior's c div game.
there they whacked from the start, then towards the end the pitcher like gave 20 walks.
like, wts.
thank God for rain or else they'll have lost to anglican.
which, im sorry to say, is quite an embarrassing thing to do.

today during training we sat down as a team to have a discussion about how we were playing and like it was so great cause we could throw everything out and everyone just learns and understands how we can better improve as a team in terms of skills and complimenting each other on the field. i feel so much more like ONE VJC TEAM now. :))

nobody ask me out to do stuff this weekend please.
the mugger must get through her pile of readings and think about stupid PW.


''then tell me boy now wont that be sweet, sweet sweet sweet.

A geography lesson.

The whole pacific ring of fire has officially migrated onto my nose. this could be due to convection currents moving the plates so quickly, the sudden movement has caused it to jump onto somewhere cooler. Therein lies an island arc of active volcanos, where in the heart of it all lies the most active one of all, mount bigfatpimple. mount bigfatpimple erupts almost every month, always around the time when the magma under it gets excited and starts to boil, effectively increasing the height of the volcano to about 6493128 nanometres. when the time is ripe, a small amount of added pressure would cause a pressure release inside the volcano and it explodes, throwing out large amounts of red hot lava and viscuous liquid sulphur. after that, due to lack of material, the volcano sinks, creating a crater thousands of nanomiles apart. and there, it lies silent until the day the magma starts going crazy again..

The stupidest question someone can ask me is if i want to be a doctor. I DONT. its not cause i dont want to save lives and all the jazz, but the answer is the most basic reason one can give. its plainly because i faint when i see blood. yeahyeah, gay's scared of blood. let me recall past incidents:

1. many years ago, my deceased hampster bit me [he was alive when he did] on my thumb. not knowing what to do, i stood there stunned, the sight of the blood trickling out made me feel woozy all of a sudden. mommy shouted for me to go wash it, and in my dazed state, i followed her instructions. alas, on the long and arduous journey to the sink, i gave way and fainted. you might be thinking now it was because i fainted and knocked my head on the floor that im such a nut now, but YOU'RE WRONG. HAHAHA! i never did knock my head. thankGod my mommy was following behind me and did a dive to manage to save my head in time. [okayy exageration] but the point is, i fainted after getting bitten by a puny hampster.

2. many weeks ago, mount bigfatpimple started to grow. being the stupid thing i am, i didnt heed my parents advice and tried to explode it in the hope of helping it to shrink. and there, during the process, emerged a whole lot of blood. at first it was fine, i was even glad i managed to squeeze some impurities out, but as i continued, the woozy feeling came back to haunt me. alarm bells started to clang in my head, further worsening the situation and i could barely hold myself up. with a great amount of willpower and determination, i groped my way back to bed and laid down before i totally passed out. thankfully, the feeling passed and i didnt faint. but the point is, if bursting a pimple could cause so much trauma, how could i dissect a person? [and people ask why i dont take bio. i dont wanna faint halfway whilst cutting up a frog and end up pillowing my fall on the intestines i just exposed.]

3. many days ago, i just pierced my ear and it kinda got so swollen the stud got sucked into the hole. in the middle of the night, i couldnt stand the pain and got up to push it off. and yadayadayada, i almost fainted again.

BUT THE POINT HERE IS, i cant take blood. so i the thought of me being a doctor joanne gay should never even cross you mind.


''BOOM!

ALL AROUND THE WORLD WE'RE SINGING..

ignite conference is the seks man. like, it rock to the max. i was totally blessed with what the speakers spoke about there and it so applied to my life. IM GONNA CHANGE! the worship and praise bands rock the house yo. especially on the last night rally, where we all jumped like those mexican jumping beans. and the presence of GOd was really there. thankyou God for raining down on us those two days, and continue to do so forever and ever! God You reign. and staying over al lina's bedok house was fun. playing cards and drinking games with f&n soft drinks.haha super funneh. and walking back and forth 3 times in a day. i hate overhead bridges now. LOL

man, my holidays are boring. 3 things: ignite conference, training, housework. oh yes and homework, so 4. how boring. even janice more happening than me, still can go town take neoprints. -.- shat im becoming the boring big sister. dammit just cause i feel so bad for making mommy do everything when i got school, i gotta stay home on my only free day to clean. ohwells, at least later im gonna go shopping for my phone and contacts. TAMPINES, here i come! whee.


''hello welcome to ignite. *shake hand*

laur you rock in the play man.
interesting and confusing to watch, but overall good job.
its a wonder how you managed to memorise the whole long script.
3 hours man.
haha the goody bags were cool, love the candy.
angelina and lina were like trying to steal the candy form other bags lah.
haha jaiyou for the 2nd night.
dont fall out the window ah.
btw, corinne said: your fat thighs were exposed to the whole world in the window scene. LOL


''wouldnt it be nice if the world was cadbury..

like, everything kinda went wrong today.
apart from school, which i actually managed to stay awake most of the time, the rest of the day quite sucked.

especially training. i dont know what im doing wrong. i dont know how to change it. jiaolian may tell me, but i just cant seem to get it somehow. i think i wasnt very focused the whole time and was kinda dying from cough and stuff. but i guess it is my fault for not putting in extra effort to maintain my skills as well. just like what dcruz said: champions must put in extra effort to stay champions cause others always want to beat champions. very true. it must be quite a bad time for this to happen cause season starts in a month and i feel so worn out at times. BUT. i know when the time comes, we will be ready. and for us to be ready i must do my part and put in the effort to get better. face the ball, footwork, extension, sending out, thinking quick. and every other thing that must be done. i dont care what shit jiaolian gave me about thinking too highly of me, about how im so lousy. i know i will make it through somehow. i know i will. i just have to go back to basics.

im falling. deeper and deeper. and its getting harder to get out of it. its affecting me. alot. and i dont want it to cause now's a bad time. season's coming and im still trying to keep up in school. im not as smart as everyone thinks i am. i dont have 48 hours a day as some people think. i cant cope like that. but on the other hand, i miss it. it makes me want it bad. this is so confusing.
i miss you.

''i am falling to my knees, i need you Lord to breathe in me.

firstly before i start any ranting, i wanna say sorry to those who found my whining and nonsensical ramblings a disturbance to the peace. i apologise.

secondly, im about to start now.

thirdly, if i offend anybody in anyway, i once again apologise as these words are word which i say when im angry and i might not actually mean them.

START: wtf LAH. today we like started to train earlier ready and we were all like so lethargic and all and trying desperately to regain our power on the field but oh no, coach just has to come and start saying and saying how we havent been doing anything for the past few days thats why we're so off and our strokes and stuff are so disgusting now. hello?! i think we do quite a bit more comparatively. i know that usually the vj seniors are supposed to still be damn good without training but sad to say, since we are lauded as the worst tk batch, we're unable to live up to that reputation. the only way our batch can do well is by training, sheer hard work. and i think thats what we havent been getting cause the focus is always on tk tk tk. not vj. even during vj training at vj, the focus is on tk. its a selfish thought to think cause i know tk needs training since their nationals start early, but to not pay much attention to us and expect us to still be in tip top form? its something to me is unfathomable. [btw, to opponents who read this: WE WILL STILL TRASH YOU SO SHUT UP AND GO AWAY] so in the end we ended up doing 10 sets of kneeling down and hitting and hurting our knee cause kneeling on grass is disgustingly painful if you have to kneel for so disgustingly long.

to vera: thank you for understanding. love gay.

andd pre u sem is giving me a headache. like that topic is so vague and irritaingly confusing. i am very confused. lol i feel so unqualified to be there since everyone's so smart and knowledgeable about everything , whereas im not. so right now, it kinda sucks. even nick's so smart. like whattheshit.

END: okayy ive gotten everything out. i feel so much better now, the rubbish starts here and ends here. the end.


''cause i had a bad day.

i feel so much better today.
thanks azlin, sayang, dcruz, gerry.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO VERAAAA!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GRANDMA TOO!

okayy cell was not too bad, sorry if i was being noisy and irritating with all the fake accents.
haha but you did a good job laur. jiayou with all the plays and work.
proverbs 3:5-6, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.


''dont mess with the best cause the best dont mess,
dont fool with the cool cause the cool dont fool.
cause we're the best than all the rest
and we're so cool we freeze the pool.

i am so f-ing irritated today.

i hate it when i miss someone so much it sucks when i dont see him at all.
i hate it when i feel so claustrophobic and cant breathe.
i hate it when someone insists she knows something but later ask so many basic questions about it.
i hate it when some people just cant seem to shut their mouths.
i hate it when others use an irritated tone to talk to me for no reason.
i hate it when i miss my best friend so much cause she aint in my school [not her fault].
i hate it when im pissed and people piss me off more.
i hate it when all the blame is put on me.
i hate it when i feel so stranded.
i hate it when i keep too many things inside me but cant get it out.
i hate it when i feel so emotionally lost but find no one to turn to.
i hate it when im so miserable but have to look f-ing happy.
i hate it when im angry and feel like punching the hell out of someone.
i hate it when peopple rant to me about their problems but yet fail to see how confused and messed up i actually am.

i hate it when im so selfish because everything i've said starts with 'i'.


''sometimes i really hate myself.