life goes on, or so people say. but, do you ever forget?
i ask myself that question and the answer is no.
i hardly forget.
short term memory, that i have.
like i cant remember what i just said.
but stuff that happens, stays in my mind.
for a long time.
and pops out every now and then.

today i hung out with two of my cousins.
and i learnt stuff that i never knew about them.
hahaa three of us, the pharmacist, nutritionist, and the architect.
and the rest of the noisy screamy kids.
i had fun though.
but its really tiring taking care of them.
but i like :)
except for that stupid incident at the park with those bloody underaged sissy boys.
fing asses.
but we had the big nutritionist to protect us and keep the secret camel safe. hahaahahahah
okayy inside joke.

training this morning was hot.
i look like a boiled lobster now.
but im quite satisfied i havent lost touch
like stilll can throw and bat and field a little.
even though injuries once again plagued me, i felt better after sweating, no perspiring it all out.
guess even if i didnt wanna abstain, i cant help it cause training's gonna take up so much time.
well, whatever man.
i've lived without them for so long, i can continue living without them.
when the time is right, naturally it'll come.
no worries needed at all cause all's taken care by the almighty one.
so lalalala i shall just train and get back in shape for the time being.


''tell the world.

this is the final lap.
the last day of exams.
the very last history paper
and the very last time charmaine and i will be participating in our tradition of stopping by 7-11 at the mrt station whilst watching out for the certain someone we want to avoid.
hahaahahahah
evil us but its true.
we always see her, somehow or other.
ohwell.
but tonight its time to party.
desheng cant gloat anymore.
but i'll miss so many people form school.
the softballers, the going-home gang, the vtcc people and the other people who've entered my life in ne way or another.
this is the final journey we're making together,
its time we move on.


''when i was a young boy, my father had take me to the city, to see a marching band.
he said someday when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned..

hannah got me hooked on this song, just like how gee got us hooked on lips of an angel. <3>

one more day till i can relax.
exams make you so darn tense.

i just thought of a friend.
some time ago, he shared his story with us.
when he was young, his mom nearly died.
but he had faith and he prayed, saying that if God saved his mom, he'd give his whole life to God.
and God did save his mom.
i respect him when he said that.
like how many kids decide to devote their life to God at such a young age?
but recently, his heart changed
and he switched to becoming catholic
[not that im against them but its just of a different faith]
that caused me to question how much i look up to him.
as a brother in christ and as a friend.
then shortly after he stopped coming to church, his mom shared the same story.
in her own point of view
of someone who almost died
and had called on God to spare her.
i could see that everyone who heard it was so touched.
some even tearing.
and i thought,
if my friend had heard what his mom said on that day,
i think the thought of switching faiths would disappear from his mind.
totally.

now all i can do is just pray that you'll come back someday.
cause in your childlike faith, you believed.
and you gave me the motivation to believe as well.

in the midst of o's it is a bad time to think about anything other than work. but after studying, late at night, when you let your mind drift. its hard to control where it drifts to.

but o's are going on fine. just sometimes i feel so drained. and tired. like i feel i cant continue. then God picks me up again. or sends someone to do that. but sometimes He doesnt. maybe its His way of telling me to be stronger and overcome it by myself. sure it'll be great it someone was there to encourage me along the way, but things happen for a reason i guess. ah what nonsense am i sprouting.

its time to let go i guess. however hard. very hard. but i just have to do it. im still pissed about the whole damn thing. you just dont lead someone on like that. or maybe i read too much into things. rahrahrah. whatever it is, i will let go. if it is truely meant to be, it will happen, otherwise, forget it. just forget it.

but what if i cant?


Jesus, beautiful Savior,
God of all majesty
risen King

lamb of God,
holy and righteous
Blessed redeemer
bright morning star.

All the heavens
shout your praise
All creation bows
to worship you

How wonderful
how beautiful
name above every name
exalted high
how wonderful
how beautiful
Jesus your name
name above every name
Jesus.


beautiful song. its my themesong for the exams. its what has kepy me going, knowing God is there :)