whoohoo singapore won.
albeit through abit controversial circumstances.
but WE WON nonetheless. [take that pakin]
the thai players dived so much you'd think they are deprived of a pool.
AND, they should all get red carded for time wasting and boycotting.
and treating the pitch like a pool.
maybe they should like all get an eye check.
since they cant tell the difference between GREEN grass and BLUE pool.
get a life man.

i found out today that when you play when you're relaxed, you make very nice plays, but also stupid mistakes.
like we executed a beautiful scissors play with yan first time, then with angie and it really rocked shit. very hard to do that so nicely during game.
all i was irritated with was with my throw two.
haywire again. i swear im gonna get it right tomorrow.
i need gym so much now.
lets hope it wont be a slack training.
slack training kills my skills. seriously.
and remind me next time never to space out in a game.
LOL. like i totally blurred out in the third inning. shucks.
[scream, yell, jump, and refocus]
i so can do this.
no one, i repeat, no one, is going to steal my base when im done.


''clap clap clapclapclap clapclapclapclap SINGAPORE!

sometimes i really think people take advantage of me.
not as in the rape way but like the other way.
kinda like diane's: 'gay do this gay do that'
but the way they say its like okayy for me.
its only some people who think im super loaded and just cause i buy her stuff doesnt mean i have lotsa money.
i do it cause i love her.
but apparently i think it doesnt mean anything
cause when she buys me stuff i have to pay back.
wtf.
i hope her telephone bill's like high and she has to pay through her butt.
RAH.

teamtalk was good.
really trashed everything out.
i love all you guys.
thaipan's black pepper beef fried rice thing is good too.

oh yeah. im so glad singapore won.
like i was cheering my guts out for them.
im so surprised i didnt get a sore throat.
baihakki rockess so much. like if it wasnt for him malaysia would have scored more or something.
who's up for wednesday's game?

i dont know if my eye candy's looking at me or someone else.
bestie, you made me think about that today.
crap im in such an irritable mood.


''sometimes i feel i dont mean anything to you. do i?

i decided i liked an emo blogskin and since the prev one was giving me proplems i decided to change! hope ya'll find it easier to navigate this one now :)

''i saw my eye candy today! :))

yay lina's back!
i cant wait to see what nice undies shes got for me!
hurhur
im chaochao tired.
jiaolian so tortured us yesterday.
like we carried 20kg weights and did the climb up the chair thing.
and like the jumpjump swing bats.
so whoopie, new blister.
at least i still had enough energy to poke hakim's dimples.
you so handsomely cute luh. not ugly at all!
after enduring so much yesterday, belle and i totally slacked during pe lah.
like we were right at the back when running.
and tanyewhwee was like: eh! isabelle and joanne, college reps still like that! run LAH.
and we were like: aiyah very tired luh..yesterday train so hard.
LOL like so what if your soccer guys run beside you all the time?
we're girls! hahaha be nice to us leh..

and joke of the day: junliang asked us if we wanted to buy soccer jerseys to help raise funds for pe dept, and we[belle and i] were like how much? and he was like one shirt 25 dollars lah then got another one is special discount, 50 dollars then buy one get one free. -.-


''tell me what you want, what you really really want!
(diane/chan/vera: this does not mean i'm totally for the mtv idea of malu-ing myself.)

i feel lazy.
too lazy to write anything.
but after today, i realised some people can really get to my nerves.
[is that the phrase?]
but really. i can get really irritated easily.
not that its good but lets just say im not too patient.
even though im still learning how to be.

captainball sucks cause im so short.
running like 8 rounds round the track with serr-jane[sarahjane] rocked.
like we were running moderately and laughing and talking and me singing and her finally joining in my singing at the end as well.
that was cool.
i <3>
it helps me to release all my pent up anger/irritation/stress.

im gonna miss the time when sam and i ran at night in the park in an effort to train me for xc.
more like i was dying trying to keep up.
while he ran happily talking and laughing away.
i was huffing and puffing. but it paid off.
dont forget to come back to run the full marathon when you're 18.
i'll wait at the finishing line to clap for you :)
remember to cut your hair in australia you lazy pig. see you!


''you know that, i love you.

I HATE THE MUD AT KALLANG FIELD.
it pissed me off the whole day today everytime i had to walk through it to get somewhere.
it resulted in my nice green canvas pumps turning brown. rah
scoring was quite fun.
but doing 6 consecutive games is no joke.
in the end score until blur.
so sorry to eric for screwing up the last game abit and being so blur.
and im like thinking to myself: like as if he reads this.. -.-
at least the pay is good =D
thats the only thing im happy about.

sometimes i dont know what im doing in the youth squad.
like i feel so redundant.
whether its because of my horrendous performance in chiangmai or because of my size i dont know.
like im made to feel that i got no future in softball cause im so small size.
gets me highly irritated all the time.
so now the question is whether i wanna join the intermediate squad to help me catch up or stay in the youth and concentrate more on school side.
but joining intermediate means i train like everyday, inclusive of weekends.
and im not so sure if im able to do that yet.
thus as of now, i dont know what to think.
maybe now's a good time to use this word: huh

just to retrace back abit;
vera and i were talking yeaterday about one of the few common topics in which we both have things to say about = soccer guys.
i bet if diane reads this she'll be wanting to wring my neck, but please, hear me out.
after a long and highly interesting conversation, we have concluded that soccer guys make good-funny-lame-HAHA friends, but not good boyfriends.
reasoning being that even though some of them have girlfriends, they still continue flirting around quite a bit with other girls.
and although looking at it from the other-girl-he's-flirting-with point of view may seem flattering to the girl,
what happens if you look at it from the girlfriend point of view.
that is what we do not want.
and anyway i bet that there hardly will be any time to meet outside school in the first place.
so this argument shall stand until some soccer guy comes along to dispute it and convince me it is utter rubbish.


''when darkness turns to light, it ends tonight, it ends tonight.

zhaorong persuaded me to pon pe today.
and actually im glad he did.
cause hakim's telling me pe was a waste of time.
and there was 8 classes so like i hope the teachers didnt notice anything. huh
zz. i want to cut my hair!

i learnt a new french swear word from diane today.
but i forgot it already.
if not i'll teach everyone what i learnt.
HAHA.


''take take take it all, take take take it all.

dinner with the softball guys and angie was quite fun actually.
they are funnily lame people.
so i laughed off all the earlier irritation i had already.
and it doesnt mean i hate her jastine.
and just because i mentioned jastine doesnt mean i have a scandal with him you noisy llama.


''save my soul, make me new, i live for You.

i quite loved mkc today.
mkc=mighty kids club
co-led worship with laureen and we like screwed up. hurhur
totally forgot our words to the new praise song.
but tis okay cause it was really fun
and all the other leaders were dancing along too.
that really really helped alot :) thanks guys
worship was awesome. like totally
looking at little glen singing so loudly and prakash actually not running away during songs was really heartwarming.
i guess my joy in serving is just seeing the kids respond to us and of course to the Lord Almighty.
it reminded me of the beautiful kids camp last last year in full gospel church jb.
it motivated me to make every worship im doing enjoyable and perfect for the kids and God.
doesnt matter if im singing or musicianing.
all that matters is that God is present in our midst.
and the children feel it.


''A thousand times i've failed
still your mercy remains
should i stumble again
still im caught in your grace

everlasting
your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
your glory goes beyond all fame.

your will above all else
my purpose remains
the art of losing myself
in bringing you praise

in my heart in my soul
i give you control
consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
become my embrace
to love You from the inside out

and the cry of my heart
is to bring you praise
from the inside out
Lord my soul cries out.

i woke up today, drank some water, and puked it all back out.
thats when i found out puking hurts alot.
i wonder why some people do if everyday after every meal.
their poor throats.

im so happy i made jelly today, and cooked campball alphabet chicken soup for lunch.
but it wasnt enough so i ate a waffle.
and burnt it all away getting high and dancing in church trying to prepare for tomorrow's mkc.
and got high again at OG dinner.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!!
it was so obvious we were gonna try to surprise him LAH.
but it was fun trying to hide the cake under all the bags.
and the cake came out shifted from all the swinging around that shaun did to it.
hohoho.

''its not a secret,
its not a fairytale.,
its not made up,
jonah was in the whale,
for three whole days,
1,2,3!

the greatest treasure,
the word God's people wrote,
its in the Bible,
where noah built the boat,
and it rained and rained.

the rainbows in the sky's to show God's promises of truth,
the rainbow's in the sky to show the world,
He's the only way,
for you everyday.
(come look for me if you wanna know the actions to the song. i can teach you :D )

i have a bad tummy ache.
cause i think i ate too much for dinner.
all my efforts in gym is lost.
ooh i have a revelation.
maybe its not a tummy ache but its muscle ache form doing so many sit ups and shit jsut now.
all belle's fault. im gonna make you run man.

i cant blog for nuts now.
stupid class convo's making me confused.
oh btw, tiff crashed today.
whee
OKLAHBYE.


''sine sine cosine pi, 3.14159, avogardro's LCP, 6.02 10 23!!

its like only the first week of lessons and im already starting to feel the strain.
like so darn tiring so have to absorb and absorb non stop.
good thing i have nice lame classmates. esp james. HAHAHA
during the redundent physics lecture by mr *******, he was like imitating him all the way.
''when you run hundred metres, last time you run 9.5 seconds, but now you run10.1 seconds. why is it like this? do you know? do you know? dont know? but i know..'' HAHAHA
you really must hear it for yourself to find it funny.

poor belle's feeling the strain too. like she feels like backing out and going to poly. but i say: dont give up girl. i know you can :)

is it really true that best friends can last forever?
or does the relationship go stale after a while?
does it take alot of effort to keep it going?
doesnt it take the effort of both sides to make it work?
isnt you best friends supposed to be the one that you can tell everything to?
can you have more than one best friend?

many many questions swimming around in my head. but they're all drowning and i dont know how to save them all.

i hope tomorrow's lessons are more interesting.


''not everyone can perfect the art of losing.

sea regatta rockess.
except for the part where all the sand gets like everywhere.
like seriously everywhere.[think dirty for once]
but it was really fun. yup yup.
we so owned the volleyball yo.
and i got a taste of how it would be like to be buried cause apparently im one of the smaller girls so i should be easier to bury in the sand.
and that lama kept throwing more sand on me and it got so super duperly heavy LAH.

anyway, mass dance at suntec was fun too
and water was spraying everywhere.
chinaman and i and sarahjane were so clueless as to how to dance.
like we cant remember steps lah.
good thing got chinaman's friend net[or something] who was damn good so we were all following him. whee.
and sarahjane and vera and belle and joanna and i left early to avoid the crowd.
also cause we didnt really wanna dance 'i want you' cause its so hard and all of us dont know. AHAHA. bad sally!

but my mood was a little, okay quite, dampened cause im super worried about lina.
okay to lina i dont care whether you read this but some times i feel we dont tell each other much stuff. like we tell our school friends more stuff, so out friendship gets abit superficial, ya know. i guess its cause we go to different schools and dont see each other everyday and i got so much trainings and everything, but i guess both of us need to make the effort if we want this to last. which i do. best friends dont just drop from the sky know. when i know your upset, i dont know how to comfort you cause we push me away so many times. it makes me feel like im the once who caused your upsetness and i question myself so if it was something i did/said/whatever. so whatever happens i hope we stick through this and pull through. cause i really want this to work somehow.


''yodeleh yodeleh yodeloh.

whee softball gathering today was quite a success i must say.
albeit a minor[ahem] setback at the begining about invitations and invitees.
(okay im gonna stop here about this section before i start whining and ranting)
but anywayy, thankyou to my organising committee.
although its quite impromptu, we did a great job together :D
and quite surprisingly, coach invited the super senior batches, well some.
like norlyn and sz wha and joanna yong and sijia and ginger and felicia chin.
felicia's so tall in the super high pumps but apparently, norlyn's taller!
HAHAHAHA
and we were all going crazy doing vj mass dance songs which i dont know.
whiney whiney whiney whoo.
but alas, it has come to an end.
and im superly tired out.
maybe abit tired to be pissed.
wait till i regain my energy yo.
YOU better run far far away. serious.
ohwell, long mkc meeting tmr about change in leadership and new directions.
so i better sleep now, lest i fall asleep during the meeting.
oh and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DUNCAN(coach's dog)!!


''crazy, ah huh ah huh.

the first day of school for me started today!

cheering and playing crazy games and doing mass dances and all that rubbish was actually fun.
but its absolutely tiring.
my OGLs are nice people.
there's timothy-who looks like a lama. HAHAHA
and zara-who likes ban mien
and oh-shit-i-cant-remember-her-name-but-she's-super-silly
and eathel(? cant remember her either but she's actually one year my junior).

ohwell. but it was fun. and funny.
and now i know of the secret spot to gather and eat tapao-ed dinner.
and i love my new class.
a total of 4 softballers in there. yay.
there's belle and wingyan and jastine and me!
07s51 sarah-jane's juniors

and such a small world it was.
on the way back i was actually on the seame train as shaikh his friend and lina and apen and apen's friend.
and we all met angeline and robin at pasir ris.
and i was going high in my vj shirt and i met jac owyong in her mj shirt. HAHAHA
so fun!

and then i went home instead of hang out with them cause im super tired.
oh and i met my 403 bus uncle again. hahaha
whole day take bus home sure see him.
might as well acknowledge him then.


''vi-viva-viva la victoria!

anyway, the fireworks we played on new year's eve was super duperly cool yo. like whee.
and coach albert like tried to teach us how to use them and did it wrongly that it almost blew up in out faces. and later the src girls came along and taught us the right way and we were asking how they know, and they were like: we read the instructions what.

AHAHHAHA like so duh.
you can go to tianyu's blog to check out the one bomb that was loaded wrongly and blew up right in front of us instead of like in the sky. whaha.

IM BACK.
FROM CHIANGMAI.

its been quite a fun and interesting trip. like i got to know other softballers from other places.
even though we like lost every competitive game, its alright cause we were in the international category so we faced tougher teams. i guess we didnt really play that well either but its all over. no use brooding over it now.

the only thing im happy about is the shopping at the bazaar and my beautiful homerun. whee. down the leftfield line! like finally. after a drought for like 9 months yo. feels like finding a watering hole in the desert. ahh.

it was superly irritating that when i was there my throw like totally went berserk. like i forgot how to throw and as if i was sec one all over again. fing irritating shit. i hate it when that happens. cause i lose confidence in my skills. like i dont feel it yo. it brings me down to feel that even after training for quite long i cant throw properly. rah.

what do i want?
coach jenny asked us this question. and even after thinking for so long im still hesitant about my choice. personally i want to continue softball. to be frank, ive fell in love with the game. but im very disadvantaged due to my small frame and to play in higher levels, being small is unacceptable. like people bang me, i'll fly. i bang people, i still fly. get the picture?

so i think i'll take it one by one. i continue where i can. if i cant, i cant. but at least i try. that's all i can and will do. but i do hope i can go further. cause it'll be a waste to stop after sacrifising so much of my life. like its been hard. and it will continue being hard cause the workload will only increase. but i want to try it. i now many friends think im nuts for training so much. like i dont really have a life. that much i know very well. maybe it will change, maybe it wont. i'll just leave it to my Creator to work that out for me.

i guess i'll take it one by one.

and no, i do not have milk.