its the fourth day after the start of main prelims paper. mental resilience is really important. but something which i sorely lack. i need encouragement. please? i just hope to get below twenty now.
its really tiring to mug, take exams, mug again and take more exams. giving up is tempting but no, not an option. might as well finish what ive started. i miss talking to some people. you know sometimes its weird when you can talk to someone one the phone for so long but when you see them face to face you have nothing to say? rah i hate that feeling.
right now there's so few people whom i can talk to face to face. ah i dont know why. so not in the mood now. then again, small things can make gay happy. but it also can mean small things can make gay sad too. i wanna be happy. gimme some love <3
its been so long since i've touched a ball. softball. i miss playing, being in the field, slacking and laughing around. i miss painting the field, doing duckwalks, shouting and screaming. i miss my seniors, my juniors and coaches. i miss my team mates, my infielders, my outfielders, my pitchers. i miss the supporters, the teachers, the scorers. i miss the umpires, the bases, the home plate. i miss the vjc-ians, the girls, the guys. i miss the sun, my tan, my tan lines. i miss kallang, the sand, the mud. theres so many things i miss. gosh what a sentimental moment. i should stop. but then its not my fault. everyone's entitled to some moments like these. i just wish i have less. means i dont miss people so much. which is good.
zz. i should start on physics. banking on it for a good result. God help my please. i need to focus. seriously. and i need brain power to remember all i study. and i need skill to write out all i study appropriately. and i need sleep. so stop those times when i have to spend my nights staring at the ceiling, tossing around in bed, wondering if i should get up to study instead of trying to sleep. but then, sleep is good. i need more. ive not been sleeping well. i dream when i sleep well, even if its for just a little while. so it means ive not been sleeping well. since i hardly dream. only that one dream, which came after a long long peroid of dreamless nights. but its enough for now. i dont want nightmares. zz.