I spent the whole day just eating and sleeping. I feel so fat now.haha but I shall not harp on it lest someone like tiffany reads this and start ranting around that im not fat and all. I said I FEEL fat.

Anywayy. My dear little cousins were at my house. Lorraine and danielle. such darlings they are. So darn cute.love them. <3 I really miss all my cousins. Like I hardly see them at all. I remember there was this chinese new year at my aunts house and I havent seen any of my cousins for a long time. Especially desheng. I stepped into the house and totally didnt recognize them. Cause when he was young he was quite a chubby kid, but he took up volleyball and became relatively tall,dark and handsome. :D its the truth. That was about 2 years ago I think. Lol I miss all of them. We are like the big four kids amongst the young ones,with an age gap between the youngest and oldest being only 2 years.[desheng and I are the same age, then raymond and yongsheng being the oldest.] Then after that the age gap would be 4 years. Such fun we had at our grandparents house.

..whats up with me getting oh-so-sentimental now? Funny stuff happens when you get too stress. but then again, im not too stress what. Okayy its just me then.

On to other matters, vj confirmed the sports trip to bangkok. But the parents are still quite hesitant to let me go if its to southern bangkok, apparently that's where all the hostilities are happening. And the trips not subsidized so mag said it'll be about 500bucks. Thats quite steep considering that there are so many flights to bangkok nowadays. Ohwell, we will see what happens. But im in the mood for some major shopping :)

Other than that, lifes just mediocre. Nothing real exciting right now. I wish that would change cause im seriously getting bored here. Rah. 2 months to go. I wish it'll hurry up, but that'll mean Os would be here faster then. And I dont think im really prepared for that yet. Ohwell. I just hope to survive.

What do you do when you've been feeling real down, but suddenly you're blessed with something real nice? It lasts for a while but as sudden as it came, it was gone, leaving you quite so lost and distraught if it was you who caused it to leave. So day after day you wonder if it'll come back, and if you'd ever experience it again. But as the days wear on, so does the light of hope that you carry. After awhile, although deep in your heart you still wished it come back, common sense tells you otherwise. Right now you’re not sure if you should just let it go or continue having faith and press on, because you're afraid that if you let go and move on, it might come back one day to find you gone and decide to move on as well. Then you might really regret it all your life for thinking of giving up that hope in the first place. But if you keep harboring that faith, what if it does not come back, and all you've been doing have been for naught. And worse still, might have held you back, not allowing you to try to experience other things and stopped you from living life the way you should. What would you do?

Rah sometimes I think I just worry too much.


''this is the start of something new, it feels so right to be here with you.