seriously.. i have no idea why i like soe people. those who know me have no idea why i used to like samuel oh. i have no idea either actually. but the keyword here is used to.. thing is sometimes i have no idea what im doing. whether im doing things cause im impulsive or just cause i feel like doing it. i never really know if its really what i want to do. im not really making sense but ohwell.

you know sometimes when you walk on the streets, you see ouples and wonder how many of them will really last? as in, these days, people just get married and divorce as and when they like. how many people actually really treasure their relationship? i thin i walk around like a freaking zombie. what am i even doing here? i ask myself.

i had a long loong looong talk with dii just the other day. we talked about everything and anything under the sun. talked till the sun set. it was good. really. i wanna do it again. the studying part was crap la.. but i had fun. [your brother's really dark]] heh. i realised many things that day. i realised that i deserved better. i realised what i was doing. i realised i was valued. even though sometimes i feel neglected. i feel pushed aside. [is that the same thing?] i know there's some one there for me. even though i have to share.

what am i saying?

i love jay chou
i love initial d [thanks queen. you rock]

hahas. that aside, coach gave us a really long talk yesterday. how much went into our heads i dunno. but i still respect her. how many people you know survived cancer? i love her mentality sometimes. positive. ohman .i realy dunno what im saying. jiao lian talked too. belle, i said she's right but not about the stupid part. you misunderstood dear.

i so feel like slipping back into my state of self pity. i know God's there. but i still want a hug.